Blogging is difficult.

I first started using a blog as a private diary, since typing was much easier than writing, to keep up with the pace of my thoughts.

Then, food albums popped up on Facebook. Inspired, I started snapping photos of my entrees at restaurants - only to keep them to myself. I was too embarrassed to post them online.

After one full memory card (and some hundreds of iPhone pictures), I came across one of my friend's food blogs and thought it'd be a wonderful idea to start my own!



I set up a site with Blogger, uploaded all my photos to iPhoto - and was shocked at how many I had accumulated - only to, again, keep the blog to myself. I was too embarrassed to make it public.

I'm not entirely sure what held me back.

Perfectionism? Insecurity? Self-judgment?

A combination, most likely. I just felt like my material wasn't good enough, and I procrastinated in publishing my posts.

(After all, nine out of ten psychologists agree - perfectionism is the leading cause of procrastination!)

So I kept fiddling with the site layout, with the posts, with the photos, until one day, in late July, I decided to go public. That's right.

I went Facebook official.

After announcing my blog to my network of Facebook friends, I would have a thousand readers each day, right?

You're probably shaking your head at me now - I know. I'm naive. That's why I still dream like Disney princesses, of fairytale weddings and endings.

It's also why I was sad when I wasn't famous overnight.

And why my photos started to backlog, why I didn't update my blog.

Meanwhile, I was doing some serious work in the kitchen.

I had tried to develop my own food philosophy (which you can still see at Why Cinnaberries?), so my first few dishes consisted of fish and veggies, and my first few baking endeavors of fruit and flour.

Cooking Light, on MyRecipes, functioned as my best friend.

But as I started trying to bake goods as gifts, I realized the limits of healthy baking. When I googled, "best brownie recipe ever," the ones that turned up were not the ones with applesauce. Of course not.

Curiosity took ahold of me.

I deviated from my philosophy, thinking, "I'll bake healthy for the everyday, for the family, and I'll bake these splurges as treats and gifts."

Well, it turns out that such added flexibility opens a new array of possibilities. It turns out that there isn't one perfect recipe for a brownie. Nope, there are several - all passionately debated on multiple forums.

Forums? For food?

As I searched for new recipes and techniques, I came across more of these food-related sites.

Initially, I tried batting them aside. Smitten Kitchen, who are you? I can't believe these Chowhounders... they're so obsessed with food!

I trusted only the large, corporate-looking websites, like MyRecipes and, later, the more democratic AllRecipes.

But Smitten Kitchen persisted in presenting itself in every search, and eventually, I started to read it. Slowly, I started to trust it, and to shed my wonder at all the people who commented, so enthusiastically - about food!

This world possessed its own jargon, too, and its own celebrities.

David Leite seemed to be trumped in mention only by David Lebovitz, and who on earth was Barefood Contessa?

All this time, I had maintained a food blog, thinking that I was isolated, on an island.

I had somehow managed to stay oblivious, for months, to the food blogosphere! To the food network, in fact - both lower and uppercase.

I started watching the stars' shows on Food Network, perusing the established blogs, even cooking some of their dishes - like the recent spaghetti with tomato sauce recipe posted on, yes, my favorite Smitten Kitchen.

But this created a new problem.

How could I ever compete?

At the same time, Yelp entered my life, and I wanted to write reviews about all the new venues that I was discovering around me.

I continued taking photos, continued to cook, bake, read, research, write new posts - only to keep them to myself.

I wasn't just embarrassed this time. Now, I was self-doubting.

I asked myself, was I blogging correctly?

My interests in food had been evolving rather quickly. I had started a website based on quick and easy meals, healthy baking, and local restaurant reviews. Now, I was interested in, well, pretty much everything.

I worried that my posts were not consistent enough, focused enough, personal enough.

I also worried what would happen if I did become more personal. I'm gregarious but private - I didn't even want to give out my first name or school here.

But after discovering some peer blogs (finally!), and after reading that others share similar concerns and questions about blogging (with professionals and guides, even!), I've discovered that there really is no right or wrong way to blog.

I also discovered the true reason that blogging has taken off, and why it's stayed so popular -

Community.

It's what we all crave in the end, isn't it?

A sense that we all belong, that we all matter.

Plus, the world of food can be broad enough to sustain such fervent interest in it, from so many different people. It's somewhat bizarre - which is exactly what makes it beautiful.


So, my dear reader, I present to you the very first foodie picture that I ever took (of the very first dish I ever cooked!).

It's salmon and quinoa - a perfectly balanced, healthy meal.

A humble meal, too.

I took these pictures long before I had a blog even in mind. I took them because I was proud, because I wanted to document them, as a milestone in my personal development.

I took them -

Just because.

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YOUR TURN:

Now, I'd love to hear from you!

Did any of my thoughts resonate with you? Why/how did you start your blog? Did you encounter similar difficulties? Do you have a certain approach towards eating, cooking, baking, food in general?

Also, what would you like to see more from Cinnaberries - reviews, recipes, randomness?